August 27, 2007

NEW CAT !? Oh my, Do you have a name for it? Lex, you can make that Tornado Kitty if you want. Would you like to know something? There are dogs everywhere in Brazil. EVERYWHERE. It's amazing. I honestly think I could count one hundred per day if I really paid close attention. If you walk around long enough you might see a family of dogs hanging out by themselves in the park. It's so awesome. I saw a dog and a horse interacting the other day. Greatest thing ever. Yesterday I was walking on a sidewalk that had big trees hanging over so I could get some shade, and I think there must have been a nest in one of the trees because a bird swooped down and hit me in the back ofthe head. It completely freaked me out. I heard a squawk and down it came again. Hit me twice right in the head. I took off running after that. I did get the birthday package. Thank you so much for that. I actually got it on my last full day at the CTM. What Luck! I've been enjoying it's contents. Forgive me for not thanking you sooner. I love it. I'm looking forward to other packages and letters. They are lazy about delivering mail from the mission off to the missionaries homes so I might not get them until the next zone conference. As for what Julie said about learning the language and then having trouble remembering how to speak English. That doesn't sound very nice to me. My companion says the same thing, he can't remember English words sometimes. It freaks me out. He loves it. Dad, let's talk politics. Tell me what's been going on in the race. Anything exciting? Who's been looking better or worse lately? Tell me about basketball too. Are there any important trades or anything I should know about? What' up with the stock market? I heard something about it having a really bad week the week I got to Brasilia. Are you so stoked for the Huskies to start playing? Who do they play first? By the way I miss you a lot. I miss talking. I love that you're crippled. That's hilarious. I've been trying to get you to be the old man that you are for years now! I love you Pop. Lexa!?!? I have to be brief, but do all you can to keep that wierd Albino cat living in my shower. I want him to hiss at me when I get back. Tell me all about school. Did you end up taking any of those classes on tha fabulous schedule I dreamed up for you? If you're taking Sociology of Marriage and Family, do you love Mr. Peterson? Tell me everything. Also, (very important) I would like to inform you of an amazing word I've stumbled upon in Portuguese. It is "batata da perna" which means "potato of the leg". It's the word they use for calf. Amazing. I LOVE YOU! Momma, thank you so much for you encouragement every week. I always appreciate it. You did born me, that's true. Maybe I'm smarter than I give myself credit, I don't know, we'll see. I will send more pictures soon, I love you very, very much. Have a good week, family. Be good.

August 20, 2007

Note that I am using my new myldsmail address now!
Week two was not much different than week one. No baptisms or anything noteworthy. It's awfully hot for being wintertime. Because of the language barrier, when we are in people's homes I rarely say a word. Elder Maughan teaches the less, I might give the opening prayer or say a thing or two about Joseph Smith. Anyways, I'm not much help yet. I told my companion that if you compared music to the gospel, the Beatles would probably be Jesus and Radiohead would be Joseph Smith. He told me to Repent!
I attached some pictures of the CTM, my district, and some views of Sao Paulo, oh and some of the little house we are living in right now. I withdrew some money from my account for the first time today, glad it works. I went to see Dr. Mario this week about my toes going numb and he said the same thing you did. I have a pinched nerve. They're gonna make a strip to put in my shoe (on my insole) to take the pressure off the ball of my foot. Elder Maughan had to translate every thing for me since he didn't speak english. Time to go, I love you guys. Have a good week!

August 14, 2007

OK so I've been in the field one week now and this is my first P day. My companion is Elder Eric Maughan. Mom, he says that his mom talked to you on a website. Actually that was one of the first things he told me when we met, which was at the bus station, which is where everyone meets their new companions at the transfer. My area is called Cruzeiro. The bus stop was actually in our area so after I said bye to the three other guys from my district at the CTM who came to Brasilia with me (Elder Day, Elder Barton and Elder Valentine, all of whom I love) we started walking with my bags to our house. It wasn't far, I didn't mind. We almost got hit by a few buses though. Drivers are crazy all over Brazil, I thought it was just Sao Paulo. I miss Sao Paulo. Well, I miss the CTM. Sao Paulo sucks. Anyways, our house is a dump. It has walls, a roof, beds, everything we need to survive, but it's a dump. It holds up, I think it's fine. The funny thing is that Cruzeiro is one of the richest places in Brazil, yet we live in the smallest house. If there is one thing I could change about our little one-room house it would be the bathroom. It's really small. When we go to the bathroom our knees hit the wall, so you have to sit sideways on the toilet, it's not natural. And rather than having a designated place in the bathroom as a shower, there's just a shower head that comes out of the wall and you stand there. It's all truck stop/janitor's closet style. Everything gets wet. If your at the sink and you drop your toothbrush it's over. As for the work.....well,I really don't know the language, but it's only been a week. Maybe things will pick up. I read Alma 32 last night, it made me feel a little better. But yesterday at Zone Conference (which by the way, is done in Portuguese and I didn't know a single word). Let me go back a little. Before we went to the bus station to meet our companions, we were picked up at the airport by Presidente Aidukaitis, his wife, and the assistants to the President. We took pictures and did some obligatory proselyting and then a van took us to see the mission office and then to Presidente's house. There we had lunch, went over rules, etc. then we had interviews with the President. My interview went well. When I walked out, everyone was in the backyard practicing how to baptize. I joined in. I dropped a Brazilian. The APs made us do some uncomfortable stuff, like stand up on a chair and preach to them in Portuguese, which I don't speak. One of them said "be prepared to teach multitudes", he really said that. Anyways, awkward. The first night was good though. All we did was walk to a member's house, in an extra rich area, and they fed us pizza and Coca-cola and then gave us a ride home. We drove past a Wal-mart. I wouldn't have guessed that on my first night in my mission in Brazil I would have ate Domino's pizza and drove past Wal-mart listening to Pink Floyd in the Bishop's counselor's nice Volkswagon. Lex, as for losing a little of your personality, don't worry, I'm losing mine too. We can become losers together. Not that I wasn't already. But because I'm trying to only speak Portuguese all day, I have no personality. I have a personality in English, but not at all in Portuguese, because I can't speak it. I mean maybe I have the personality of an infant or something. I stay quiet a lot of the time. And thoughts I would normally share I keep to myself. Did you start school at MCC? Do you love it? If school, if it sucks, pressing forward is the best thing to do. I'm sure that's the best thing for me to do here. Hmm...anything else? We had one baptism this week. A girl named Poliane. There is an incredible emphasis on baptisms in this mission. Maybe because my Mission President baptized over 1,000 souls on his mission. It's weird, it all about the numbers. I don't like that but whatever! We taught her twice and she was baptized. That was it. I guess that's just what happens here. There will be a temple here sooner than I thought. You need 12 stakes in an area (not a mission area, just an area...I don't know how the Church delineates it) to have a temple. There is 10 in the Brasilia area. Elder Maughan says don't be surprised if they might announce a Brasilia temple at Conference in a few months. That's a happy thought. But whatever, I don't make a difference here. I don't even speak Portuguese. My companion says it's time to go. I love you all very very much! Jordan

August 1, 2007


I must be very brief I'm sorry. But know that I'm alive despite turning 22 and despite having to say the OPENING PRAYER at tuesday night devotional, which the entire CTM attends. I got up and gave the shortest prayer in history, I don't know alot of Portuguese so it was the worst 8 seconds of my life so far! The sisters in my district got a good laugh out of it. That was awesome!
At long last, I go to Brasilia next week. I'm glad Ryan Adams was a good time, I'm jealous. Some Utards in my district think Lex and Michelle are hot! I miss you all and love you all. Wish me luck in the field. Pray for me. I feel like I haven't learned enough, but oh well. It's all good. Have a good week! You'll hear from me again soon. Love, Jordan

July 25, 2007

Mom and Pops,

I have one story for you this week....Our new Brazilian roommates are amazing. We've named them Hitler and Rommel, I'll tell you why. In our room there is me, the very famous and illustrious Valentine, Elder Greene, and Elder Fagan. In our nine weeks here we get two pairs of Brazilian roommates, for three weeks at a time. The first guys were awesome. We loved them, it was a sad day when they left. But then these two new guys showed up. Valentine and I were sitting around in our underwear eating candy and cheetos and they come walking in. Not even hi or hello, the first thing they say to us is "Elders, we must clean this room, we must do it." We tried making conversation but these guys weren't having it, they would just point at a bag and say " start with this, put it away right now!" Greene and Fagan walk in and the first thing they hear is "Elder! Where is your companion?? You cannot be in here!" They are infamous on our floor. Even other Brasilheiros hate them. The other guys in our district are in the room right next to us. The have some of the coolest Brasilheiros around. A few nights ago they pounded on the wall on the side our nazi Brazilians sleep on until one of them got up and went over and knocked on their door. They opened it and said "Elder! Where is your companion???? You cannot be in here!" and slammed the door shut. So great! Well, I'm out of here in just under two weeks. I'm looking forward to meeting President Aidukaitis, I hear he's a tight guy. All the teachers at the CTM know about him, even if they didn't serve in Brasilia while he's been Mission President. There are all kinds of interesting stories about him. By the way, good move on the Passat. That's too legit. Send me a picture of it. Tell Lex and Michelle and Jonny and Chelsea and Zach and EVERYONE who's going to Ryan Adams in Salt Lake City to have an amazing time. I'll try to make it but I doubt I will, I don't get much time off. Oh well, I love you guys so so much. Have a good day.

July 18, 2007


I hope you all are well. Are you being blessed? Has anyone won the lottery? I hope. When was this plane crash in Sao Paulo? If it was this week I'm not surprised, it's been raining for almost a week straight. It's funny, everyone here is getting emails from their parents asking if they're ok, even if their planes landed a month and a half ago. Thank you for the package! My district and I have already eaten everything. We're fat now. I should get your other letters soon. I LOVE YOU! Jordan

July 11, 2007


How about I just name all of my kids Apollo? One can be Apollo 8, another Apollo 11, and the youngest can be Apollo 13. I'll make sure they're all famous soccer or tennis players or some kind of international celebrity. Did Lex get my letter? I sent it through this sketchy guy at some bakery down the street instead of through the post office, so if she didn't get it that's my bad. Are you telling her and michelle how much I love them and miss them everyday? I do. Tell Socks the same. Heck, tell Pebbs too. Is Josie dead? I can't believe that story about Amare almost being traded for KG. That's crazy. You know I'm all for KG in the purple and orange, but not for Amare. In my next letter I'll send home pictures of stuff. Prepare for anticlimactism. I had a dream that I saw Marshall the other night. I bet Jonny is all smiles now that he's back. If you ever see him, say hi for me. I love you guys, I'll await your package and letters.

July 4, 2007

What up family,

Did Michelle inform you of my request to have you fly the New Mexico flag on the house instead of the Brazil flag? A Brasilheiro asked me a few days ago what mission I was going to, I told him, and he laughed and said "you will die hungry there". I don't know how or why that would be, but it sounds exciting. My district has four of us going to Brasilia, four of us going to Belo Horizonte, and two are going to Belem. This is a shame because our district is wonderful, we all get along and we have so much fun together. It's hard to describe the kind of fun we have because we're imprisoned 6 days a week and we've all gone a little mad. There is one Elder who loves World War II history and making fun of people as much as I do. His name is Elder Fagan. We'll talk for a while about how the M1 was a great gun and how all the German weapons were so cheap and other knowledge we've gathered from books and video games, and then we'll make fun of his companion for asking if they celebrate Christmas in Brazil. Fagan and his companion, Elder Greene, and me and my companion, Elder Valentine, the one and only, are all roommates along with two Brazilheiros who showed up last week. It's great. Fagan and I constantly aggravate Greene, Valentine just gets more famous all the time, and the Brazilians teach us how to say a few off the wall things in Portuguese. I don't know what Brazil's obsession with skyscrapers is. It's as if they saw one and liked it so much they decided to put them everywhere. Sao Paulo feels very thrown together. I don't know why but the architecture and construction is so slapshod and aesthetically unpleasing. I've learned something very important while I've been here. I've read my Patriarchal blessing a few times and survived through several weeks of almost absolute congruency of days in every way, lost and found my testimony more than once and retained only the least bit of Portuguese despite constant study, and somehow this has manifest to me that the most important work I'll do in this life will be simply as the Patriarch over my own family, and I'm happy about that. I used to be disappointed with my blessing, now I like it. I must make an end of my writings now because it is lunch time. Since it's the 4th of July today we're apparently in for a big surprise. I don't see how. I'm guessing American food is the surprise. American food Brazilianized. The food genuinely sucks here. I'm not expecting much. A live buffalo in the cafeteria would be a surprise. Maybe a western stunt show from the Brazilians. I don't know. Paz, Elder Hoon

June 27, 2007

Hi Familia,

I miss things, I miss the US. Everytime I leave the CTM to go to the Temple or Policia Federal (which is where we went this morning and got fingerprinted and I felt like a criminal, it was great) I look around and just miss home. Oh well, Brazil is a nice place. I am well, I was sick this week but no longer. The CTM is a great place to catch a cold if you're looking for one. There is a sister in our district that is sort of the "district mom", she gave me some medicine. My Portuguese isn't going as well this week but it's coming along one way or another. Presidente Cardon assures us we'll all be fluent in a matter of months so not to worry. I really love you guys!

June 15, 2007


There are a few nice things about the CTM. If you asked me my favorite thing it would have to be the Brazilians. They're insane! I don't see them much during the day, only in passing, but when the sun goes down....ohhh baby. All the Brazilian missionaries strip down to their underwear and start climbing up the walls and yelling and screaming and singing in the shower and they can't say anything without ending up with a backflip or doing something obnoxious. It's so great! But that's only a few minutes of my night I get to see that, then it's back to my room. Everyone here does this wrist flick snap thing. I've been working on it, and hurting my wrist in the process. The Brazilians are all amazing at it, of course. Did I mention that I am the ONLY person in my district of 7 Elders and 3 Sisters that isn't from Utah. To think, I was so happy I didn't have to go to the Provo MTC. I come all the way to Brazil to be hooked up with a group of Jazz fans. Ughhh. My companion is a fellow named Elder Valentine, we're together 24/7 and he has a severe case of stupid face. But I'm learning to love it. As far as going to the bathroom goes, he insists on standing in the bathroom, rather than outside, and waits for me to finish. Goodness gracious. I'm trying to teach by example and wait outside for him, but he's not catching on. This is just one misery while you're in training here. Worst relationship of my life so far. Hopefully it will get better as we get to know each other. I miss you! I love you all!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Oi familia!

I miss you guys. I just wanted to shout you a holler and let you know I'm alright, I haven't been robbed yet, I'm not weird yet, and I haven't gotten a parasite yet I don't think. What I can report to you briefly is that I hate rice and beans. But I do love my district! They're wonderful. Some of the sisters are a little too into group activities but oh well, if they weren't here none of the elders would get anything done. I appreciate everyone here.